Dark Side of the moon

Moon... lunar... feminine... my thoughts flow as a stream in my brain, which strives to articulate feelings that can be only unsaid.

Motherhood. Not all birthing folks identify as mothers or feminine. That's ok. I don't always subscribe to gender binary myself; but when it comes to being a Mother, I feel most aligned with lunar, feminine energy.

Not soft. Not passive. Feminine... as in power of the tides, holds the Earth in gravitational balance, lights up the dark feminine. This is the energy of the Femini

that I hold dearly.

Ah, Mother... the thing at which I've been grasping since beginning. This yogic journey (and well before). Being a Queer Mother comes with its own medicine... often times bitter, and usually found in common, though unexpected places.

My mother has yet to embrace her own medicine. For, you see, to truly embrace our Medicine, we must acknowledge and begin to heal the entanglements of trauma (which, ironically, can be medicine). Her wounds became mine, and she disowned me for my Truth. She doesn't follow the Good Ways of our people. She's chosen to embrace the colonizer's idea of salvation and a white washed savior.

In Mothering my child, I'm forced to seek gentle solutions and ways of being so he has Good Medicine from me. The world will give him enough bitters; I seek to stock him well with the sweet. The medicine I give him is nourishment to my own inner child; the one who calls for her mother in the dark. The one for who mother never responded. Seeking to be a kind and compassionate mother clears avenues for this inner child, showing her what she also deserved: respect, safety, consent, and so much love.

Motherhood is the greatest gift Creator could give me. I'm fortunate to have this relationship with my child, and I know that parenting can be challenging and even overwhelming. For me, the overwhelm hasn't come from my child, but from a lack of community... and it's a lack for which I assume responsibility. I keep my Medicine hidden for fear of it being rejected, ridiculed, used and abused. I owe it to myself, my family, my ancestors, and my community to share this Medicine in a Good Way.

This is the Medicine. This is the Way ;-)